I was real close to Edmonds, face to face, and I whispered in his ear, “Ay, you stupit fahkeen haole, ef you eva do dat chit again, I gon gif you wan tree koda slap so fahkeen hart, you gon fly ou da fron windo. Den I gon tell Ikaika to set on you. Den I gon call my fren, an he gon eech you like wan luau peeg. You undastan, brah?”




As the bus rolled into the parking lot Edmonds rose from his seat in the last row. He flipped out. He jumped into the aisle, then bull rushed toward me at the front of the bus. I feared that if Edmonds made it passed me, he was going to cause Ikaika to crash the bus. We had already turned into the parking lot, but Ikaika was high and I didn‘t want to take any chances. So I remained still standing in the middle of the aisle. I prepared for impact. I held the tops of a seat on each side. When Edmonds reached me I timed it perfectly, and swiftly kicked him in the balls. He fell quickly. Ikaika stopped the bus. I grabbed Edmonds and dragged him two or three feet up the aisle toward the door. Ikaika opened the door. I crouched down between Ikaika, Edmonds and the steps. I was real close to Edmonds, face to face, and I whispered in his ear, “Ay, you stupit fahkeen haole, ef you eva do dat chit again, I gon gif you wan tree koda slap so fahkeen hart, you gon fly ou da fron windo. Den I gon tell Ikaika to set on you. Den I gon call my fren, an he gon eech you like wan luau peeg. You undastan, brah?” He looked up and I could see the fear in his eyes. He nodded his head. “Now you go fine yo fahkeen fahnee pack,“ I said. I helped him up and then he hobbled off the bus. He walked like a cowboy, wide-legged, and headed toward the beach.


"Pidgin" by Jason McCormick.